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I'd like to talk about the worst traffic jam of my life, which happened on the thirtieth of April last year on Highway 51, the main road from Saigon to Vung Tau. It was the first morning of a long public holiday, and my three flatmates and I had the brilliant and entirely unoriginal idea of going to the beach. We left at six in a rented seven-seater, feeling very pleased with ourselves for starting early. Unfortunately, about half of Saigon had had the same thought. Somewhere past Long Thanh the traffic slowed to a crawl and then stopped altogether, and we later heard that two trucks had collided a few kilometres ahead. A journey that normally takes about two hours ended up taking nearly seven. For the first hour we were fine. We sang along to the radio. By the third hour the air conditioning was struggling, and the mood had changed considerably. A woman from a nearby house started walking between the lanes selling iced tea and boiled eggs at what I can only describe as holiday prices. My flatmate Phuc, who was driving, announced, 'Next year we go to the beach on Google Maps only.' We passed the time playing a word game, and at one point I got out and walked alongside the car for ten minutes without it overtaking me. I felt irritated at first, then helpless, and eventually strangely relaxed, because there was truly nothing any of us could do. We reached the sea at one in the afternoon. The swim was wonderful, but I've avoided travelling on the first day of a holiday ever since.